Tldr
Epictetus, adapted by Sharon Lebell — The Art of Living: The Classical Manual on Virtue, Happiness, and Effectiveness
HarperOne, 1995 · 128 pages · ISBN 9780061286056
A modern rendering of Epictetus built on one principle: some things are within our control and some are not. Peace comes from keeping your attention on the first kind and letting the second go.
Philosophy as a practical tool
Epictetus believed that the primary job of philosophy is to help ordinary people effectively meet the everyday challenges of daily life,
- mastering your desires,
- performing your duties, and learning to think clearly about yourself and your relations within the larger community of humanity.
Control
Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: Some things are within our control, and some things are not.
- Keep your attention focused entirely on what is truly your own concern, and be clear that what belongs to others is their business and none of yours.
- If it concerns anything outside your control, train yourself not to worry about it.
- Things and people are not what we wish them to be nor what they seem to be. They are what they are.
- For good or for ill, life and nature are governed by laws that we can’t change.
- When we succumb to our passing desires for things that aren’t in our control, freedom is lost.
Accepting events
- Don’t demand or expect that events happen as you would wish them to. Accept events as they actually happen. That way peace is possible.
- Your will needn’t be affected by an incident unless you let it. Remember this with everything that happens to you.
- On the occasion of an accidental event, don’t just react in a haphazard fashion: Remember to turn inward and ask what resources you have for dealing with it. Dig deeply. You possess strengths you might not realize you have. Find the right one. Use it.
- Grief begins when we stop saying of things, “I have lost it” and instead say, “It has been returned to where it came from.”
- Everything that happens to you does so for some good. If you decided to be lucky, you are lucky. All events contain an advantage for you—if you look for it!
Freedom and provocation
- Freedom is the only worthy goal in life.
- Do you wish to be invincible? Then don’t enter into combat with what you have no real control over.
- People don’t have the power to hurt you. Even if someone shouts abuse at you or strikes you, if you are insulted, it is always your choice to view what is happening as insulting or not. If someone irritates you, it is only your own response that is irritating you. Therefore, when anyone seems to be provoking you, remember that it is only your judgment of the incident that provokes you. Don’t let your emotions get ignited by mere appearances.
- Try not to merely react in the moment. Pull back from the situation. Take a wider view; compose yourself.
- Learn to accept events, even death, with intelligence.
Attention and your company
- Never depend on the admiration of others.
- Other people’s views and troubles can be contagious. Don’t sabotage yourself by unwittingly adopting negative, unproductive attitudes through your associations with others.
- We’ve all known people who, like monkeys, mimic whatever seems novel and flashy at the moment. But then their enthusiasm and efforts wane; they drop their projects as soon as they become too familiar or demanding.
- Faithfulness is the antidote to bitterness and confusion.
- You become what you give your attention to.
- We become small-minded if we engage in discussion about other people. In particular, avoid blaming, praising, or comparing people.
- Try whenever possible, if you notice the conversation around you decaying into palaver, to see if you can subtly lead the conversation back to more constructive subjects. If, however, you find yourself among indifferent strangers, you can simply remain silent.
Time and entertainment
- Most of what passes for legitimate entertainment is inferior or foolish and only caters to or exploits people’s weaknesses. Avoid being one of the mob who indulges in such pastimes. Your life is too short and you have important things to do.
Avoid Most Popular Entertainment
Most of what passes for legitimate entertainment is inferior or foolish and only caters to or exploits people’s weaknesses. Avoid being one of the mob who indulges in such pastimes. Your life is too short and you have important things to do. Be discriminating about what images and ideas you permit into your mind. If you yourself don’t choose what thoughts and images you expose yourself to, someone else will, and their motives may not be the highest. It is the easiest thing in the world to slide imperceptibly into vulgarity. But there’s no need for that to happen if you determine not to waste your time and attention on mindless pap.
Selected highlights
“Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: Some things are within our control, and some things are not.”
“Freedom is the only worthy goal in life.”
“You become what you give your attention to.”
“All events contain an advantage for you—if you look for it!”